A Weight Loss Surgery Patient's Pictures and Things

HW: 320ish
Preop Weight : 305.6
Surgery Date: June 1st, 2011
Current Weight: 218.9
Lowest Weight: 180.5 in 11/2012
UGW: 150
Total Loss since Start of Pre-op Diet: 86.7

 

21 pounds

I weighed in at 205.7 today.

I feel much better emotionally and I feel great that I’ve lost weight. I’m eating now lol so everything looks to be on the up and up

Today I stand

At 211.7 lb. 15 pounds down from the first Monday in June. I should be happy and overjoyed that I’m steps away from Onederland again. However, I am not. I haven’t lost this weight the correct and healthy way. My diet has consisted of 10 Doritos, 5 Pringles, 3 spoonfuls of beans and nuts for the past couple of days.

Culturally, depression is taboo. Who has that made up illness, just get over it. They say. Today I woke up with my heart in my throat and I had a legit panic attack. Nothing triggered the feeling but my thoughts gave it more fuel. I laid on my bed debating if I should call in or not, but I went into work. I was crying and just not being well. I office with our psychologist so she said just to try walking or a mild antidepressant. So, it took me a couple of hours but I grew the balls to call my PCP. tomorrow I have an appointment for antidepressants and that within itself kind of shames me, but why? Because Hispanic culture says it to be so? I already go against most cultural norms like not having a child or not being married at my age. So why does this feel humiliating?

I can’t cope. I need help.

Lowest

Today I’m 216.8

That’s the lowest weight I’ve been since restarting this tumblr. Because I feel like the lowest. I can’t even handle it. I feel like I’m going to break down at any moment and shrivel up and die.

Today is another day

I’m feeling really down. And I feel like my band is reflecting upon my sadness. I have like the feeling that my stomach is turning inside out and coming out through my throat. Food has been difficult.

Today’s weight is 218.7

Fill this mornin’

I woke up to battle Houston traffic to get a fill today up .5 to make it a total of 4.5 ccs in my band. I was down 3.5 pounds from my last fill so that’s something. I’m currently 219.3 on my scale.

I’ve been MIA because I was broken up with. I gained weight from DC and I lost 8 pounds last week alone. But then I felt better and I’m back up 4 pounds lol.

Well, my blog isn’t so much personal as WLS so here is my food for today

222.9

Breakfast
Protein shake
Lunch
Tuna cakes
Dinner
Chicken from nom nom paleo

Snack- maple walnuts and popcorn

No Zumba for me today as I had a angry meltdown about life in general.

Went to DC and came back gained 4 pounds. Decided to go with a dress I wore for our company christmas party. Good choice as the dress is flattering. 

SO today I weighed in at 226.9

I’ve decided to place myself on liquids for a week. This I am doing because EVERY SINGLE TIME I have returned from a flight back him my band goes out of whack, and everything goes to shit. I end up getting an emergency unfill. 

B - BP Coffee and an extra cup of coffee

L - tropical vanilla protein shake

D - blended chicken soup

S - a couple of bites of this paleo mug cake

Tuesday may 27
223.0
Breakfast-fruit protein shake
Lunch - GF enchilada + avocado
Dinner - shown above mashed sweet potato, chicken of one drumstick and BBQ sauce. I’m obsessed.
Snack- nuts and some gingersnaps
Workout-Zumba, the instructor makes me happy even though I’m not graceful

Last week was a bummer. One of my good friends got let go from work. Sucks cause she pushed for me to be in my current position. Seems like a funeral happened party of 3 (my two friends and I were closest to her). Everyone else is gossiping and speculating as to what happened. Everyone is shocked and appalled.

I decided to be adventurous today. I got my eyebrows threaded. I saw the sign that there was a $10 min for cc transactions so I opted for both eyebrow and upper lip. It was the biggest mistake of my life. It felt like my lip was on fire for an hour. After that fiasco I went to get shellac and as adventurous as I was feeling I asked for almond shape. I’m happy with my decision.

SATURDAY

I went to the mall to try on dresses to wear for my aunts wedding. I was really excited to see the Zooey Dechanel line had my size. I love her and I wanted all of the dresses. So I picked up my size and went to the dressing room. I thought maybe it was the cut of my dress. So I tried on another one from the line. No luck. We then went to forever 21 - only the plus size section fits so I had 3 choices. Then I started crying in the store and I cried on the way home. This 50 pound gain has ruined me. Why aren’t I motivated enough to shed the weight again?